Real Relationships -- Love advice

Real relationships + love advice

6 July 2010 5 Comments

Our expert Rachael-Lea Rickards has all the answers for those looking for love in all the right (and wrong) places.

Dear Rachael-Lea,
My boyfriend is very particular. He likes a woman who “takes care of herself” and I try to do just that. He really doesn’t like hair, anywhere. The thing is, I wish he would return the favour. When we first met, I didn’t realize how hairy he was. But the first time I saw him without a shirt, I was mortified. He needs a body trim! Why should I do all that I do, if he doesn’t? I’m turned off, but I don’t know how to bring it up. Help!

Signed,
My Man Needs a Wax

Dear MMNAW,
Situations like this make me laugh. Men and women put expectations on their partners, but often neglect to look in their own backyards. There are plenty of women who love hairy men, you’re just not one of them. If you take the time to wax, pluck and keep it in shape, so should he.

Girl, you need to be gentle but honest. Don’t go leaving laser hair discount coupons on his pillow. Instead, introduce him to products that make it easy to get rid of the unwanted hair. There are some really great products on the market targeted at men, and not everything has to hurt. Whatever you do, don’t try to wax him yourself. Leave that to the professionals. Watching your man curl up in the fetal position while being waxed is never sexy — trust me!

DEAR RACHAEL-LEA,
I’ve been dating a woman for about two months now. They say when you meet The One, you will just know. I’ve met The One. We talk about our future plans a lot. She’s extremely ambitious and her goals are high. I admire that. In the same breath, I’m scared to move forward with her. What she doesn’t know is that I don’t have a lot of money. Times are actually pretty tough for me. I spend money I don’t have just so I can impress her. I’m afraid that if I tell her I don’t have money, she’ll lose respect and leave. What should I do?

Signed,
Big Heart that’s Broken

Dear BHTB,
I hear your pain. Every man wants to feel like he can provide for his woman. But is your relationship built on what you buy her, or how you fulfill her, emotionally and physically? Pretending to be in a financial situation that’s not real is only digging your hole deeper while your bills pile up. I do suggest that you seek some credit counselling, because it is only when you feel secure that you can offer security. Be honest with her and you’ll soon see her true colours as well.

You might be surprised at her reaction and perhaps she has some things of her own that she hasn’t quite yet mentioned. By the way, someone you call The One will be there, whether you have a home on The Bridal Path or a fading bank account. The One takes risks to love you, unconditionally, for who you are — not what you have. If she leaves, you probably never had her to begin with. Good Luck!