J Wyze is a writer, poet, emcee, radio host...and father

By J Wyze

My daughter was born a little early.  Even before she left her mother’s womb, the doctor said he was ‘a bit concerned’ that her heart wasn’t beating fast enough, and then, that it was beating too fast.  As her father, I knew I had to do something (and mommy was already doing all the hard work), so I prayed with all the passion of a new disciple.

Please God, protect my child.

Shiann came out healthy, but too small for me to participate in the usual rituals of chord cutting or holding her in my arms for a while in the delivery room.  Instead, she was given a few, precious seconds with her mother, then rushed off to be stuck with tubes and placed in an incubator.  I’ll never forget looking at her through the glass, wired up like some bionic baby, tiny brown limbs looking as if they might break if you held them too tightly.

Those moments taught me just how precious, how delicate this thing we call parenthood is and gave me a glimpse at how easily the privilege could be taken away.  A week and a half later, we were bringing her home.  By then she had put on the necessary size and weight and (contrary to what we were told would happen) was on pace developmentally with her age mates.

Fatherhood is a blessing…and a challenge.

A few weeks ago, I woke up feeling a little run down.  The effects of a long day, capped by a late night studio session after the radio show were combining with a 7 a.m. wake-up time to make my head, arms and legs seem as if they were made from lead.  I started grumbling to myself about never getting a chance to sleep in when I heard my three year-old son going down the stairs, repeatedly reciting a rhythmic phrase.  It took me a few listens to figure out what he was saying, but when it hit me I felt more energy than a dozen cases of Red Bull could provide.  “Say it loud, I’m Black and I’m proud!”

He was singing James Brown!

About a week earlier, we were setting up the brand new Wii.  Everybody was designing their avatars, customizing them so that there was a basic resemblance between themselves and their onscreen identities.  To my quiet dismay, my son created a character that had blond hair, blue eyes and pale skin.  Although there’s nothing wrong with that, in and of itself, I wondered if it wasn’t a subtle rejection of his own brown eyes and skin and black hair.  I made up my mind that it was time to do some identity reinforcement.

The next day I showed him the James Brown video and tried to get him to sing the hook with me.  He refused.  I let it be.  After all, the pyramids weren’t built in a day, and there are a lot of other symbols of cultural pride scattered throughout the house.  Besides, I didn’t want to force it on him so that he felt the need to rebel.  Over the following days I played it for him only once more, and I scrapped trying to get him to sing it.  Actually, I took my father’s advice.  Just give it to them so that they have it, then don’t worry.  They’ll use it when they need it. Pops was right – they use it when they need it.

What he didn’t mention was that, every now and then, they’ll use it to help you…..

J Wyze is a writer, poet, emcee and radio host.  Born in Antigua, he also lived in Bermuda before moving to Toronto, Canada in 1989.  Since then J Wyze has distinguished himself as the dynamic force behind Flow 93.5 FM’s Trauma Unit.  As a key member of the Soul Controllers crew, he has a radio background that includes once hosting Canada’s longest running Hip-hop show (The Masterplan 89.5 fm) and stints on internet radio.  His poetry is featured on various albums and compilations as well as in several anthologies and as a part of two University courses.  An article he wrote on voting for the Toronto Star has been used in high school, Civics textbooks across Canada.  You can check him out now as a solo artist and a part of the groundbreaking Hip-hop collective, Crown A’ Thornz.

Related Articles:

• Black Daddies Club Weekly: “Be a Father to Your Child!”
• Black Daddies Club Weekly: REAL TALK: Memoirs of an Unemployed Father
• Black Daddies Club Weekly: African-Centered Fatherhood
• Black Daddies Club Weekly: The New Generation of Fathers who were Raised by Single Mothers
• Black Daddies Club Weekly: Father’s Day