Sheree is "pleasantly" surprised by her bouquet of flowers.

By Isake Tom

So I recently watched a drama filled episode of this season’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta. As expected there were the usual cat-fights that resulted in broken alliances with new ones being formed. More importantly, former kept woman and newly divorced housewife Sheree, stepped onto the dating scene once again, agreeing to go on a blind date. On arrival, her eager date presented her with a bouquet which she would later describe as “looking like grocery store flowers”. The entire date was very low key, inexspensive and casual (the pair went dancing), something that sophisticated diva Sheree, wouldn’t usually settle for. Needless to say she had a wonderful time and luckily for her date, she was looking forward to a second union.

After that episode I thought of the countless conversations I’ve had with close girlfriends and female family members on this very issue and the presence of frugality in relationships. Sheree’s date was a doctor and could have afforded to take her to a 5 star restaurant and perhaps fly her in a helicopter over the Atlanta city skyline, but instead he chose a small mom and pop jook joint in a not so pleasant area of Atlanta. How many women you know would have been impressed by that? In my circle, probably not many. While today’s economy is slowly inching out of a recession, countless men and women are still finding themselves in dire financial straits; however frugality in a male partner is still a turnoff.

Online bank ING Direct recently conducted a survey asking participants to list words that would come to mind if someone offered to set them up with a blind date described as “frugal”. Twenty seven percent answered “stingy”, 15 percent said “boring” and only 3.7 percent said “sexy”. The bottom line is; there is nothing “sexy” about a frugal date.

Based on convos with my gal pals these are my findings:

1. Most women want to be wined and dined in their relationships.

2. Frugal partners are only attractive when it comes to long term courtships, but men are still expected to both spend and save at the same time.

3. Treating doesn’t have to be expensive, but if your significant other makes more than you do, as women we expect to be treated more frequently and at a higher expense.

Sorry guys, but I can’t sugar coat reality. This has been my feedback and I think it’s safe to say that this is how many women feel. Dating a guy who always insists on splitting the bill, always suggests sharing a dinner plate and consistently goes cheap on gifts i.e birthdays, Valentines Day or Christmas, is downright unattractive. And before you make assumptions, my friends and I are not gold diggers. None of us have issues with spending significant amounts of money on our partners we just expect the same in return if not more.

While today’s unstable economy makes it important to be financially responsible;(no one wants to settle down with someone who’s drowning in debt) some rules never change. It’s still pleasing to know that your partner isn’t a cheapskate and doesn’t mind spending his hard earned money every once in a while.