By Isake Tom

Let’s face it, most rational people wouldn’t dive head first into a long distance relationship. But as Keri Hilson said, ‘sometimes love knocks you down”. The raw fact is that trying to maintain the passion in a long distance romance is as easy as walking in a straight line after a long night of partying. It’s going to take a great deal of effort and you’ll want to start off on the right foot.

For those of us that find ourselves in this predicament-either because our significant other decides to accept a ‘once in a lifetime’ employment opportunity elsewhere, or opts to pursue their educational endeavors thousands of miles away- it’s best to know how to make your unique relationship work.

This week I came across an excellent article by author and lifestyle consultant Heather Little White. In her article, White outlined some valuable tips for keeping the fizz in your long distance fling.

Below, I’ve outlined 7 key points that resonated with me:

1. Meet Mr. and Mrs. Chatterbox- Face it, now you’re bound to spend hours on the telephone and may even shed a tear when you receive your next phone bill. Get used to it. Some form of communication each day, is pertinent to this type of relationship. It prevents the amour from going stale, and strengthens emotional ties. Hell, you’ve been meaning to learn how to use that new webcam, now is the perfect time. Let’s not forget the use of social networking sites, and sending an old fashioned email.

2. Get A Life- We actually mean this in a good way. Pursuing a new hobby, joining an interest group, or focusing on career development, allows your mind some much needed rest from obsessing over your situation. It also gives you lovebirds something new and exciting to share during your next conversation or live reunion.

3. Don’t become a Robo Cop- I know it’s hard, but for your own sanity you should resist the temptation to become a controlling, jealous maniac. Lose the password to his or her facebook account, as this clearly indicates a lack of trust. Without trust my friends; any long distance relationship no matter how promising is bound to fail.

4. Keep em in the Loop- I know it sounds strange but try to inform your partner of any new friendships made or places visited. No one likes to find out through a third party that their significant other has been gallivanting around town with their new friend, the super hot intern from the office.

5. Don’t leave home without it- Where’d you put that Air Miles card? Lucky for you, you’ll be escaping your daily drudgery with frequent traveling. However, this type of love requires a great deal of planning, and careful budgeting. More importantly, both parties should split travel expenses, each taking time out of their busy schedules to travel.

6. Don’t Cheat! – Sounds straight forward, but as we know cheating contributes to the failure of many long distance relationships. Ladies if you’re in a long distance relationship, please resist the urge to become delusional. Men are more tempted to cheat as they find it difficult to cope with the obvious lack of physical intimacy. However, guys should note that this works both ways. The bottom line is cheating in this type of relationship will only conjure up feelings of guilt.

7. Become a Realist- Always talk about the future and don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions. According to White, questions such as; “Are we exclusive or non exclusive?” What are you expecting to get out of this relationship?” and “Are you willing to relocate should this relationship get serious?” need to be asked and shouldn’t be avoided. Remember, this is your time, your money and your heart.

Simply put, long distance relationships are a lot of work. Sometimes they require more work than a normal relationship. If this type of relationship is not for you, it’s best to make that clear from the outset. There’s no sense in leading anyone on. However, if you do decide to engage in a long distance relationship, remember to think positively and about what you each can gain from time apart. And when you’re feeling down, always ponder on how wonderful the next reunion will be.

Are you in a long distance relationship? Ever been in one?  How do you keep that spark sizzling?

See Heather Little White article here.