Gabby’s Gift: a mother’s diary on raising a special needs child
By Tendisai Cromwell
Producer, editor and TV host, Sharon Ennis has lovingly maintained a diary about all of her children for the last eight years. Though each child has a section devoted entirely to them, the unique experience of raising her third child, 4-year-old Gabrielle, inspired more entries than her other children.
In the pages of her diary, Ennis expressed all of her sentiments of caring for a daughter diagnosed with the most severe form of spina bifida, a birth defect caused by an improperly formed spinal cord resulting in adverse developmental effects.
“Raising Gabrielle has been a journey,” Ennis revealed; a parental journey that for Ennis and her husband, was fraught with many challenges.
At the encouragement of others with whom she shared excerpts of her diary, Ennis was propelled to write a deeply personal book, Gabby’s Gift, about her experiences of rearing a child with special needs. Ennis describes her book, published this past June, as very honest and emotional, consisting largely of those entries recalling the last four years of Gabrielle’s precious life.
Throughout her pregnancy with Gabrielle, all of the tests for abnormalities came back negative. Resultantly, Ennis was woefully unprepared to deal with the reality of having a child with special needs.
“When we found out at birth, it was quite a shock,” Ennis said.
In the emotionally tumultuous period that followed the birth of Gabrielle, Ennis endured a seemingly endless cycle of pain and anguish.
“In the book, I actually open up and talk about the dark ages, as I call it.”
It was the unfulfilled expectation of a healthy child coupled with her husband leaving for medical school shortly after Gabrielle’s birth that made the “dark ages” descend upon her so relentlessly.
With brute honesty, Ennis describes some of the dark thoughts that tainted her natural love for a child of her own.
“The dark ages involved me not even wanting this child anymore,”Ennis revealed. “I wanted this to end.”
“Inside I was fighting; I was really fighting trying to be a mother and loving this child no matter what and looking at this as a gift from God. God won’t give you more than you can bear,” Ennis said.
How the condition manifests itself in a chid’s development varies and is sometimes difficult to predict accurately, as such, Gabrielle’s capabilities remained very much a mystery to Ennis and her husband, only time would tell. For the first year of Gabrielle’s life, Ennis doubted that her daughter would even be able to walk.
She had later found the optimism that she had so desperately needed emerging from the darkness of despair.
“I had to do a lot of praying,” Ennis said.
Although later than a child’s normal development, Gabrielle began to walk allowing Ennis to truly experience hope.
“Gabby was a fighter,” Ennis stated.
Sharon with Gabby
Ennis began to fully embrace raising Gabrielle and credits her daughter with helping to cultivate patience and improving her parenting skills.
“With a child with special needs, you’re more sensitive, ”Ennis said. “Patience has grown for me tremendously. Because Gabby brought that out of me, I’m able to be more patient with the other children.”
Ennis hopes that her book will be a source of guidance for those lacking the emotional support needed in caring for children with special needs. She has already received positive feedback from people who related to her journey. One mother, herself raising a child with spina bifida, expressed that she was deeply grateful for Ennis’ book which echoed her own sentiments.
Ennis as well aspires to educate the greater public about the condition which she admits she was unaware of prior to Gabrielle’s diagnosis.
“I hope this will help to open people’s eyes,” Ennis said. “A lot of people still need to be educated. I’m hoping that this will educate them emotionally and proactively, that they will do things about it and help spread the word.”
Visit the Gabby’s Gift website to purchase her book.
For more information, visit the Spina Bifida & Hydrocephalus Association of Ontario. www.sbhao.on.ca
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