Rachael-Lea answers your most difficult love queries

Our expert Rachael-Lea Rickards has all the answers for those looking for love in all the right (and wrong) places.

Dear Rachael-Lea,

I write this hoping that someone out there will relate to my dilemma.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for several months now, and I think that things could become serious. I’ve met her parents, who are extremely welcoming. She has not met mine and is starting to ask questions. I blame it on their busy schedules or that they go to bed early and aren’t the most sociable people. I’m a light skinned Black male and my girlfriend is the sexiest dark skinned woman that I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I think she’s beautiful, but I don’t think my parents will. They have always been prejudiced against dark skinned Blacks.

It’s crazy, right? I couldn’t even try to explain it to her. I’m so terribly embarrassed. My parents encourage me to find someone they can “relate to” and have tried to set me up with their friends’ light skinned daughters. I’m not attracted to light skinned women. How do I admit to her that she’s probably not that welcome at their dinner table?

Signed,
Loves My Dark Skinned Woman

Dear LMDSW,
This is a problem that has been plaguing the Black community since slavery. The house negro/field negro division still creeps into our everyday life. I will mention that this does not only plague the Black community, but several ethnic communities.

The idea that dark skin is not beautiful is your parents’ issue, not yours or your girlfriend’s. I do think, however, that if you truly love this woman, you need to have a conversation with your parents. Speak from your heart and tell them how extremely happy she makes you. Hopefully your parents will come around. If you find that they won’t bend, you need to be honest with your girlfriend.

The worst thing you could do is to not prepare her. Stop making excuses for their ignorance, but do remember that these ideals have been passed down for generations. It’s not going to change overnight. Besides, you have to live your life and listen to what your heart tells you. Now, go get two scoops of your chocolate mocha!

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